So It Continues......

During this time my grades at school had started to suffer tremendously and I eventually just dropped out instead of flunking out.  I was working as a shift supervisor at Long John Silver's at this time at a store near Ellettsville.  I became good friends with another shift supervisor.  She was like my big sister since I was not able to see my sisters everyday.  I liked living in Bloomington.  There were always things to do.  I liked the freedom of being able to come and go as I pleased without having to answer to anyone (the high school boyfriend was more of a pest at this point than an actual boyfriend).  "Jill" introduced me to her brother--who she was determined to fix me up with.  I had told everyone that I was single and while it was technically a lie, in my heart it was the truth.  I didn't want to be with the high school boyfriend anymore.  I was 20 years old and desperately wanted to move on but was afraid to be alone again.  I think subconsciously I was doing whatever I could to make him pissed off enough to just leave without me having to tell him it was over.  I didn't want it to be on my shoulders (though I wanted him gone desperately). 
I went out with Jill's brother.  The problem: He was a good 20  years older than me and was a big time partier.  It bothered him that I couldn't go to bars and drink legally.  So that never went anywhere.  Didn't stop Jill.  She had another brother (three years older than the first one) "Dan" who didn't party.  He remined me of  Chuck Norris---he was 43 but totally sexy.  We started dating.  He owned property in the country.  I loved it out there.  I pretty much lived with him for the entire 6  months we were together.  I never allowed him to come to my apartment because I didn't want him to know that the high school boyfriend was living there.  He was the jealous type and would not understand that there was nothing going on there.  I remember the times  Dan would come to Long John Silver's when I was working just to make sure no one hit on me.  There was an incident once when a customer was a little too friendly for Dan's taste and Dan, being 6 foot 5, practically threw the guy out the glass doors.  I loved the attention Dan gave me.  He had to know where I was 24 hours a day.  He had to know my work schedule and if I didn't call him at least five times a day to let him know where I was he would get angry.  He never hit me, but there was emotional abuse involved. 
You have to know that when all this was going on, I was about 120 pounds.  I was blond, blue eyed and young.  To Dan, I was a trophy.  He would often take me out on his motorcycle (after having me dress in pretty skimpy clothes) and just drive by his friends and co-workers houses just to show me off.  Of course, with the self-esteem issues I had going on, I absolutely loved this attention and it did not bother me at all that he thought of me as a trophy or piece of meat.  He loved me......it would work out. 
Don't get me wrong, he did do romantic things for me.  He bought me a beautiful white horse.  She was all mine.  He cooked for me alot.  But of course there was a price for these things and the price was, of course, sex.  Anytime he wanted.  And I had to wear skimpy little clothes that barely covered anything at all.